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How do gender roles, stereotypes, and sexism shape domestic violence?

by | Oct 22, 2022 | Uncategorized

Rigid gender roles and stereotypes mean such fixed beliefs and assumptions which determine that men and women are naturally suited to different tasks and responsibilities or have likes, dislikes, desires, interests, and abilities that aren’t based on their personalities but their gender. Examples include:

  • Assuming women will only do the household tasks
  • Viewing men as the primary breadwinner, and women as the primary home keeper/child career.
  • Thinking men are ‘naturally’ more violent or driven by uncontrollable sexual urges.

Gender roles are implanted in our brains right after we are born. This implanting is done by our family, friends, advertisements, and the media. So, children naturally take up the limited and stereotyped gender roles and identities. These gender norms become internalized as part of the natural order of their lives. For instance, it is generally believed that men should not cry, instead should be dominant and tough which generally means that boys and men shouldn’t show emotions or demonstrate abilities to play comforting roles. On the other hand, it is believed that women should be nurturing, ‘lady-like or sexually appealing means women and girls are often pressurized to behave in specific ways to meet society’s expectations.

Stereotypes are at the core of discrimination. Stereotypes are very harmful because they result in violations of basic human rights and fundamental freedom. Men’s and women’s potential to develop their abilities, pursue their professional careers are all affected by such stereotypes. Stereotypes can be explicitly hostile (e.g. women are unreasonable, feeble, etc.) or can appear harmless (e.g. women are nurturing, social, etc.), but encourage discriminatory ideas. With respect to violence against women, it is stereotypes and beliefs about what women should or should not do that often place blame on the victim in a rape, rather than maintaining the focus on the perpetrator and holding him accountable for the crime he has committed.

Gender role expectations of women and men are a major contributor to domestic violence. Gender roles are not only different but produce unequal outcomes, with men positioned as dominant and women positioned as subordinate in family, social and cultural life. This occurs through expectations that women will:

  • be concerned only about their family and catering to others even at the expense of their wellbeing
  • be pleasing in physical appearance, and accept others’ judgments about their appearance without question.
  • avoid conflict and accept responsibility for mending any conflicts
  • have few ambitions outside of romance, family, and caring, and to prioritize the needs of others over their ambitions
  • support the social and economic advancement of men

Assumptions and expectations of men which largely contribute to the widespread domestic violence include:

  • using aggression towards women, children, and other men to have their needs and wants met, and to fulfill their ambitions
  • dominating over others
  • acting as the ‘head of the household’, making major decisions and controlling the household finances
  • being sexually aggressive, and dominating sexual interactions
  • demonstrating leadership in public and social life
  • Controlling and disciplining the sexuality of women and girls close to them in order to ‘protect’ them from other men

Defining and Addressing Toxic Masculinity

by | Oct 22, 2022 | Uncategorized

Masculinity refers to the social roles, behaviors, and meanings prescribed for men in any given society at any one time.

Types of Masculinity:

According to R.W. Connell, masculinity can be categorized into four different types:

  • Hegemonic masculinity
  • Subordinate masculinity
  • Complicit masculinity
  • Marginalized masculinity

Hegemonic masculinity refers to the group of men that are able to claim power over other men and women at any given time.

Subordinate masculinity exhibits characteristics opposite from those of hegemonic masculinity. Individuals in this group demonstrate femininity traits including physical weakness, and they easily express their emotions.

Complicit masculinity describe men who exist more passively under the umbrella of hegemonic masculinity, benefitting from it without being able or willing to fill every aspect of the roll of normative/hegemonic masculinity.

Marginalized masculinity is used to describe the ways in which gender order interacts with other social orders, namely socioeconomic, ethnic, and racial order.

Toxic Masculinity

“Toxic masculinity” (sometimes called “harmful masculinity”) is often used as a catch-all term for the behaviors of men and masculine folks.

In reality, though, there’s plenty of room for someone to be masculine without being toxic or engaging in behavior that’s dangerous or hurtful.

So, what does the phrase actually mean? The popular term points toward very real problems of male violence and sexism.

If you think about the common narrative around men and boys that teaches them that boys don’t cry or that they should be able to walk it off, take it like a man under any circumstance, you could imagine how the habitual practice of not telling about your pain or worries could have significant implications.

There are downstream consequences of not really having a healthy outlet to dispense negative emotions. If you’re bottled up all the time, it’s like Whac-a-Mole, it will pop up behaviorally in another way.

Common Traits of Toxic Masculinity

Traits of toxic masculinity include themes of:

  • Mental and physical toughness
  • Aggression
  • Stoicism, or not displaying emotion
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Emotional insensitivity

 

Societal Impact

While toxic masculinity definitely has effects on individuals, it can also have larger societal impacts.

Here are just a few of these impacts. Keep in mind that, while toxic masculinity plays a contributing role in these issues, it isn’t always the sole cause.

Rape Culture

Toxic masculinity ideology tends to treat women as sexual objects, contributing to ongoing issues, like rape culture.

This refers to the tendency to remove blame from sexual assaulters and place it on the victim. “Boys will be boys” might sound harmless when it comes to kids roughhousing on the playground. But it can evolve into excuses for violent behavior or not respecting boundaries.

Violence

Toxic masculinity also teaches men and masculine folks that aggression and violence are key to solving problems — unless you want to appear weak.

The resulting violence, which can show up in many forms, including intimate partner violence, can have far-reaching effects on those who aren’t even directly involved.

Social exclusion

Again, there are plenty of men who don’t display traits of toxic masculinity. Still, these folks might be impacted by those who do display those traits in the form of social exclusion. Especially among children and teens, those who don’t fit inside that predetermined box of what it means to be masculine might find themselves disliked because of it.

Addressing it

There’s no single answer to addressing the problem of toxic masculinity. Doing so requires societal shifts around several things, including gender stereotypes and the stigma surrounding mental health.

But, if you’re a man, there are a few things you can do to reduce the impact of toxic masculinity in both your own life and the lives of those around you:

  • Be okay with acknowledging where you are. Everyone has a starting point. There’s no way to change or move forward if you aren’t able to be honest about the facets you want to alter. Maybe you weren’t a great communicator in past relationships. Or maybe you’ve relied on your physical size or strength to intimidate others. Don’t beat yourself up about past actions. Focus instead on where you currently stand and how you can move forward.
  • Have tough conversations. Ask your friends their perspective on how you handle tough situations or your biases in relation to masculinity. Do your best not to get defensive, and really listen to how your actions have impacted others. You might be surprised that certain things you did or said came across differently from how you intended.
  • Do the work. Above all, undoing toxic masculinity as a man involves being true to yourself, not some false idea of the person you should be. Finding your true self is a process that takes time. A therapist can guide you through this process and help you alter unhelpful thinking patterns.

How Pakistan’s culture reinforces for domestic violence?

by | Oct 22, 2022 | Uncategorized

Culture is a set of ideas, believes and acts of people of a specific land. Culture is about how things work. People learn their beliefs and identities through the channel of culture. They are rewarded by the people of their society for attitude that is coherent with their culture and bashed for doing things that are not in line with culture. Pakistani culture is a mixed one. Different ethnicities, different sects and different people speaking different languages make the face of Pakistan. Our culture is not completely violent but it will not be wrong to say that there are some harmful cultural beliefs that give birth to violent practices. It is unfortunately true that our culture models reinforces violence, some of the examples are given below:

Violence Against Women: Violence against women is a very diverse topic. In our culture, mainly, the rights of women are violated because they are considered to be fragile and submissive. Majority of men in this country are of the view that women are made as “mere helpers” of men and they are not equal companions. Boys try to control their sisters at very young ages. Parents of boys consider their daughters to be more safe and guarded when their brothers are around (even if the brother is four years old). Husbands consider that they have full control over their wives. That their wives are “made” to follow all of their orders regardless of being right or wrong. This idea makes men think that they are superior than women. Religious misinterpretations further strengthen this idea.

The Concept of Honour:  The concepts of honour in some parts of Pakistan has taken away many lives. The whole weight of honour of family is put on the shoulders of daughters and daughter in laws. If the daughters and daughter in laws of family do something that is against the honour of family, the least punishment they get is that they are beaten up or forcefully married to someone who is not liked by them while the highest punishment is death. The idea of honour is modeled in the brains of young boys and reinforced by rewarding boys on protecting their family’s honour by punishing their sisters or wives.

Divorce and Dowry: Dowry is the only guarantee of getting respected in the in-laws in some parts of Pakistan. Women in some parts of Pakistan face violence for not bringing dowry. Divorced women also sometimes face violence.

Domestic Violence: Domestic violence is one of the highly unattended problems of Pakistan. It is still considered as an “internal matter” culturally.

Books and Movies: Books, Movies, and songs in our culture are not well sensitized and they sow the seeds of violence in young minds. It is shown in movies that boys who have guns are cool. Guns are a symbol of violence. Consent of women is not considered: In our culture, NO of woman is considered as yes. Her consent is not important. This results in incidents of acid attacks, rape, sexual harrassment and other violence.

Victim Blaming: Rape victims are blamed in our culture. This behaviour encourages the perpetrators to be more violent.

Domestic violence is not limited to women and girls. It affects generations and whole of the society at large. It is being observed that children have a live exposure to domestic violence and they learn violence at homes. It is very difficult for a domestic violence victim to come to normal life especially when he culture breeds violence. It’s high time to we resew our societal fabric and eradicate harmful and anti-women cultural norms from our society.